MOVIE REVIEW: ATTACK OF THE KILLER TOMATOES (1978)

When I was a child, there was a cartoon show called Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, somehow related to this film, so I was aware that this title existed. I don’t remember much about the show, but the fact that there was a cartoon show based on a movie told young and impressionable me that this must mean that the source material holds significance. Despite its cult status and ragtag band of supporters, this film feels more like something you might find when dumpster diving in the Saturday Night Live writers room reject bin.

For reasons unknown, tomatoes come to life and start assaulting people. The President of the United States assembles a special task force to thwart this unlikely red menace. Money is wasted, time is lost, and progress is minimal. Then a conspiracy is uncovered and a solution is found, but will it last?

Who cares though? This movie is bad. Fans will argue that it parodies Japanese monster movies and macho rah-rah patriotic films. Maybe that is true, but it overstays its welcome like the worst of SNL skits converted to movie form. It may also be a suitable concept for a campy music video. In other words, short form is the only conceivable way that I find suitable for swallowing this pill without gagging. I can see how the filmmakers aim for a tongue-in-cheek vibe throughout the film, but I’d rather bite my tongue off than sit through this again.

The actors and filmmakers all convey enthusiasm for the project but, as in love with their material as they may be, no one stopped to ask if any of this was a good idea. There is no explanation for the tomato uprising, no justification for the degree of panic that ensues, and a deus ex machina solution that is equal parts corny and dumbfounding. The filmmakers never try to make any of this make sense. The jokes don’t land and time seems to enter a no passing zone, resulting in an agonizing 87 minutes of story with no plot.

Maybe some credit is due to the actors, who all seem to just go for it. I have to wonder though if their reckless abandon comes more from a place of not knowing what else to do with such a terrible story. Going full-on Leroy Jenkins may be the only way to get it over with while still collecting a paycheck. In fact, maybe this is the Leroy Jenkins of movies. They had the funding and overconfidence in their own cleverness, so damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead.

I think I watched this movie one night when my wife was quarantined with Covid. The only times that I seek out bad movies are when she is laid up sick or away from home. If I had subjected her to this, she would have been well within her rights to hit me. Remember that if you ever decide to watch this and try to convince someone else to join you in doing so. Any physical harm that comes your way is justified. Consider yourself warned.

FINAL RATING: 0.75 out of 5