DOUBLE FEATURE: TROLL (1986) & TROLL 2 (1990)

A few years before J.K. Rowling started writing about the Boy Who Lived, audiences (very few of them that is) watched the misadventures of Harry Potter Jr. and his family in a low-budget oddball of a film called Troll. This is a film that seems indecisive about which genre it belongs in. As a result, audiences expecting something scary or something cute were both left disappointed. These days, this film is mostly known for being the precursor to one of the worst films ever made.

While moving into their new San Francisco apartment, the Potter family’s daughter is stalked and attacked by a mysterious creature lurking in the shadows of their building. Taking the girl’s form, this magical troll causes no shortage of confusion for the Potters. Harry Jr., the son, explores the apartment building and befriends a reclusive older woman on the top floor named Eunice. She reveals to Harry that she is a witch and that the creature behind his family’s troubles is a troll name Torok. Once a great wizard, Torok seeks to regain his power, but he has to destroy humanity first. Harry and Eunice work together to counter Torok’s magic and maintain balance between the human world and the magical world.

That all sounds grand, except that the contemporary setting really doesn’t work well for what the filmmakers may have hoped to accomplish. A full-on fantasy setting in a castle or kingdom would make for a better overall vibe, but budget limitations can force some very drastic changes. With a larger budget, this contemporary setting might even work well, but big bucks were only shelled out for genre pictures like this if a guy named Jim Henson was behind it. Despite the small budget, this film does have a cast with some award nominations and wins to its credit. None of it is on display here, and that probably has more to do with the script and the direction than a collective bad outing by the performers.

Troll could have been any number of things. While there is an abundance of fantasy going on, there are also some light horror elements when Torok is stalking his next victim (though turning people into plants doesn’t exactly strike fear into the hearts of the masses). Harry Potter Jr. is in his early teens, so this film could play to younger audiences (the benevolent Eunice seems to be in that vein), or it could play on teen angst for an edgier coming-of-age vibe. The fact that Troll fails to lean into any of these directions makes it feel little more than directionless. There’s lots of pieces that could have modest potential, but none of the pieces are used well. This makes for a frustrating viewing experience.

Wasted opportunities are one thing, but then there are projects that are doomed from the start.  When is a sequel not a sequel? That would be when an unrelated, even lower-budget film gets made and they market themselves somehow as a sequel to an obscure but at least known film. This is the tale of Troll 2, which earns its dubious reputation as one of the worst films with ease.

The Waits family is taking part in a unique one-month home-swapping program that allows the family patriarch to live out his dream to be a farmer, but Joshua, the youngest member of the family, is having visions of his dead grandfather warning him about the town, the people there, and the food. Joshua’s sister’s boyfriend and his buddies tag along in their RV as well. Things go south quickly for all parties on this journey- Joshua and his family are confronted by the townsfolk and their pastor, and the RV crew discover the sorceress responsible for everything that haunts the town.

Spoiler alert: the town is named Nilbog, and the sorceress controls dozens of goblins who roam the countryside (and populate the town, disguised as humans by magic). The poison food turns people into green mush that the goblins feast upon. There are no trolls whatsoever in Troll 2.  None. It was supposed to be called Goblins, but distributors decided they could make more money by changing the name and tricking people into thinking it was a sequel to a film that was known for its low quality. It almost makes you feel bad for the people behind Troll for being used to advance something far worse. Almost.

Everything about Troll 2 is terrible. Because very few people in the cast had ever performed before, the acting is awful. The script is a mess, alternating between what feels like it should be a small-town cult story and a dark fantasy tale involving the sorceress. Marrying the two together compounds the problem. With a budget of only $100,000, the goblin costumes are rudimentary and more bizarre than scary. There is some gore-ish content, which may have gotten the lion’s share of the budget, because it looks so out of place with the rest of the film.

Where Troll doesn’t know quite what it wants to be, Troll 2 doesn’t aspire to rise above being a cheaply-made mess. I feel bad for the child actors in each, because some of what they endured while making these films could leave lasting trauma (Troll 2 especially), and they were surely mocked and harassed by some of their peers who saw the films. Take these films as cautionary tales about the vanity of some filmmakers who push ahead without any talent, and the cynicism of others who make these inferior and cheap films knowing that they can turn a quick profit.


TROLL – FINAL RATING: 1.5 OUT OF 5

TROLL 2 – FINAL RATING: 0.25 OUT OF 5